Tragedy has Struck

Most of you know that I am an iPod freak. I have many many accessories and have even framed my first iPod, whose name is One. Today, Three died peacefully. Needless to say I am very upset. To say I am devastated might be taking it a bit far but it is still a very sad occasion. I looked online and the average life expectancy of my iPod 80 gig classic is 12 to 18 months. He lasted 13-1/2. This wouldn't be so bad if I had a full-time job and money to go buy another one. My brother, Ryan, says he will buy me one today if want, but I hate to have him do that because money is tight for everyone right now. My other brother, Chris, says I need an iTouch because that does not have a spinning hard drive so it is a little more resistant to the wear and tear and frequent use.

I would like to wait a couple of days to see if he comes back but I don't know if I can go a couple of days without one. We will see what happens. At least I have my little shuffle that I use swimming to help fill the void.

I was tagged. The way I understand it, I go to my fourth folder, my fourth picture to post and then describe it.

I don't like to put other people's photos up, just in case they don't want them posted but this one is pretty generic. My sister is a physician's assistant in the Air Force. This picture was from her deployment a year ago now. She is on the right with a big smile. When my dad talked to her after receiving this picture he asked her "is that a real gun." She said "no," kidding though. It is funny and scary to think of my little sister carrying such weapons and being in the middle of a war zone.

I tag Carrie, Ginger, Celest, and Andy.

The last couple of mornings I have really enjoyed waking up to a gray cloudy sky outside my window. It reminds me so much of the Pacific Northwest, where I would be now if I wasn't going to radiation therapy school. I feel surprisingly homesick for the area. I went on a walk today with the family dog to enjoy the cool weather. I wanted to take some pictures to remember the area the way it is now, before the subdivision becomes completely developed.

30, Flirty, and Thriving?

Well, it was my 30th birthday. It feels a bit anti-climactic. For the last few months I have been worried about whether or not I have accomplished anything important in my life up to this point. I don't have a husband or kids, a completed college education, or even a fulfilling career. I am 30 and still living with my parents, that sounds terrible! Certainly not the milestones that I thought I "should" have by now.

I have been feeling especially pensive today, analyzing my life. I don't have all of the normal things, any of the "normal" things really. But maybe for me, what I have is better.

Living with my parents and brothers again has been a wonderful opportunity to enjoy the company of my brothers, Christopher especially and to make sure that my dad is getting some food that tastes good and is relatively healthy. Even Ryan and I get along fairly well, which never happened growing up!

I was able to live with and love a little boy for a several months several years ago; it seems like a lifetime ago. Sometimes I wonder if he will be the only child I get mother. I miss him terribly! I wonder if he knows how much I love him, have loved him since he was 3 months old. I wonder if his mother knows how much I still love her for sharing her son with me, even for a little while. Being with him was one of the best times of my life.

I spent a very long five years getting two associate degrees. It was a challenge and I still have two more years plus a math class to go. It is discouraging that it has taken so long. Going to Texas is foremost on my mind. I would love to go to so many other places and Texas is the best school and coincidentally, where I feel I need to be. There are radiation therapy programs all across the country and the one I want to go is in the "armpit of Texas" - Houston. Yuck! At least I can be closer to my sister, Kim down there (and my future niece/nephew next year). That is the one consolation. Hopefully I get accepted again so that can go next year.

I have felt the presence of angels, seen and unseen, mortal and not. This happened when I was so feeling so tired and overwhelmed by life or when guiding me over a dangerous snowy mountain pass. They have helped me in my school work and to reach out to people in need. They have especially helped me to continue doing what was right when logic told me it was wrong.

I have worked in a hospital setting and found myself relishing the opportunity to serve and care for people who are hurting or scared. I was actually surprised to find that I was good at it. (My dad wasn't.)

I have fallen in love...with my iPod. :) It has been a personal Liahona, a way for the Lord to speak to me possibly hundreds of times. Jeffrey R. Holland is a personal favorite, he has his own playlist. My family teases me that I would give my dad my child to watch, but not my iPod - it doesn't heal like a child. As many know, though, I am harder on iPods than anyone I know. Three just turned one year old; One drowned and Two got tired and had two batteries and finally wore out. He, (they are always "he") goes everywhere I go. I usually fall sleep listening to him. One is framed and used to sit on my mantle, back when I had a mantle.

In the past 30 years, and more particularly in the last six, I have had my testimony grow in leaps and bounds and then had it crumble, once almost into dust. I have tried to go inactive so many times I lost count. Every time I told the Lord, "this is the last time" something would touch my heart and make me feel that all the things I once knew to be true still were. I finally realized, only recently, that I think I have always known the church was true, have known it since before I was born.

I know many times over the last 6 years I have tried to go down a different path but I didn't feel good about so many of the options that I had to choose from or the path I chose was blocked. The journey I have traveled has not been what I wanted, but maybe it was the best one for me. I have learned so much about what I am capable of doing. And the people I have met along the way, wow! I have had some truly wonderful experiences with people - friends, something that I didn't know how badly I needed.

While "30, Flirty, and Thriving" as a friend told me today, is not exactly how I would describe myself, maybe that is okay. Maybe I am okay just the way I am.

Exciting Past Week

Hey Friends!

Well, I sort of got laid off at St. Marks. Usually I pick up any extra shifts that no one else is scheduled to fill. Patient load is down now though so they are cutting back significantly. Fortunately I have several other jobs that I can work on. Also, my math class started last week and I want to put in a lot of effort there to get that done ASAP. I am just glad that my family has significant wheat and other food stored so that we don't have much worry about what we will eat.

My grandpa fell last week and broke two cervical vertebrae (his neck). He was life-flighted from Pocatello down to University Hospital in Salt Lake which was pretty exciting. He is doing much better now. He had surgery and is expected to come home probably tomorrow (Tuesday). We learned several days after the injury that it was the same bone break that Christopher Reeve had which lead to his paralyzed state. We are very grateful that Grandpa didn't suffer neurologic damage. He is up walking and looking forward to "shoveling spuds" again, to which, of course, Grandma says no! His voice is really hoarse and a little hard to understand but during the surgery they have to move all of that stuff out of the way, so I am sure that with a little time for healing his voice will be back to normal. He does look a little worse for wear though with the scrapes and sores on his hands, and especially the goose egg on his head as well as the scabs and stitches above his right eye. He will stay in Salt Lake with my family for a few days but he is anxious to get home and "putter around" the house.

Well, I am off to another job and to go register to vote...

Chris was laid off on Friday from his job. He is a computer programmer and his company had several projects canceled by clients due to the downturn in the economy. I am excited to have him back. I love having him around! It sure makes me glad I am not in Houston worrying about finances, since Chris was going to be my "sugar daddy" while I was finishing school.

I am adding several pictures, finally.

Hey Everyone!

I am finally adding another post. I am still trying to figure out how this website works. I haven't started working at the new ortho clinic yet. I have been doing some as needed work at St. Marks Hospital, Orthopaedic Specialty Group, and Property Management Systems. It has been kind of fun to have so much variety. I have also been meeting new people and taking on challenges and doing well.

I recently decided to start making bread rather than buying it. It has been wonderful! I have been grinding my own wheat and trying several different recipes and types of wheat. I have finally found a recipe and wheat combo that my whole family likes and is also good for you. It was exciting on conference weekend Saturday to go buy 300 pounds of groats (the grain that turns into oatmeal) and 600 pounds of the wheat that we are making bread with. We also bought a case of honey. Supposedly, it is enough for 3 people for a year, the wheat I mean. I love baking and I am having a lot of fun now that I know how to do it. For years I was doing it wrong but I finally read a recipe book - what a concept!

I do need to add pictures, especially of my new car. It is cheap but cute, fun to drive, good gas mileage, etc. It is a Hyundai Accent, shiny dark blue with black interior. I have had it for about six weeks now and really love it. When I get some extra money I want to get the windows tinted and possibly add cruise control. It is a very basic model but it has my two criteria, air conditioning and an iPod jack. I drove a lot of cars and didn't feel good about any of them and had given up on buying a car until I got a flyer in the mail about Hyundai's being on sale. I test drove it and it just felt like a really good choice. I didn't buy it for three days, not wanting to impulse buy. The warranties are exceptional and with roadside assistance for five years I feel confident taking it to Texas.

I start a math class next week. It is an internet class through a community college in Texas. It runs October through February. I am nervous about it but hopefully it will be okay. It is three credits rather than four and it is going to be better than the summer class because it won't be so fast.

Don't know what else to say...

I finally finished school at SLCC with two associate degrees, health science and rad tech. I was accepted to world renowned M.D. Anderson Cancer Center for school in fall of 2008 but didn't feel up to doing all the things that were required to make the move and start school. Turning down the offer was an agonizing decision but I think a wise one. I will be able to get better situated mentally, financially, emotionally, spiritually before I move far from home and begin that exciting adventure.

I have just started a job - today was my training - at Rapid Care Orthopedic Clinic. I feel really lucky to have this job. I met my coworkers today and think it will be a great opportunity to grow professionally. I am a little nervous about doing dressing changes, taking out stitches, drawing up medications, etc. but I think I can do it. If you would have told me two years ago that I would become the "star student" at St. Mark's Hospital, I would not have believed you.

I live with my parents and two brothers in West Valley in the new house we bought back in February. It is a pretty nice house - except that everything is brown - especially the ugly shade of tan paint on the walls. But the ceilings are so high and there is too much to paint to give me any desire to do that. Our fall project is to put in some of the yard since we are the last ones on the block to have anything done.

Marcus just got married. It is a little strange to think that I will never live with him again. He seems happy living in student housing up at the University with his wife. Christopher was going to move to Provo but has decided to hold off for a bit. I am sad that he has to drive so much to and from work in Springville but I love having him around. He makes me laugh and we have a lot of fun together.

I am currently experimenting with this blog stuff so bear with me.